I’ve been spending a lot of time
with the word unravel
I like the way my tongue
tosses the syllables
holds the spool tight
on the roof of my mouth
flicks it into the universe
off my bottom lip
my great-grandfather, Gilpin Red
was Colorado’s middleweight champion
made a name for himself
giving blokes a mean bottom lip
carried the shotgun suicide
of his father in his fists
I think I carry it too
at least when opening a can of tomatoes
big hands run in the family
red stained family heirlooms
I reckon that was Grandpa's secret to peaches
and my father’s excuse for his hands on me
a great-granduncle that killed women
a granduncle that killed childhood
abuse is just entropy
in perpetual motion
too many stars collapsing
under the weight of their own gravity
the remnants of a big bang
like the one in Canyon City Cemetery
in one hundred billion years from now
every one of them will blink out
in my lifetime it is predicted
heirloom tomatoes will go extinct
Gilpin Red's gloves are still on display
fraying and begging to unravel
I'm still learning who I am
still making amends with time
still learning how to love these hands
knowing they will end with me
Caleb Ferganchick is a rural, queer, slam poet activist and author of The Secret of Sunflowers (2021) and Poetry Heels (2018). His work has been featured and published by Western Colorado Writer’s Forum (2021), South Broadway Ghost Society (2020, 2021), “Slam Ur Ex ((the podcast))” (2020), and the Colorado Mesa University Literary Review. He organizes the annual Slamming Bricks poetry slam competition in honor of the 1969 Stonewall Riots and serves as a board member for Western Colorado Writer’s Form and Mutual Aid Partners. A SUP river guide and speech and debate coach, Caleb also dreams of establishing a queer commune with a river otter rescue and falconry. He lives in Grand Junction, Colorado.
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